One:  Shock and Denial: 

Period of total disbelief. It is during this time that we attempt to pull together whatever defense mechanisms that are needed to cope with the traumatic news. We say things such as “That’s not possible I just talked to her last week.” Or we question the messenger and argue whether or not they could be mistaken. 

Two:  Anger: 

When denial can no longer be maintained, it may be replaced with anger, rage, envy, and resentment.  “Why me? And not you?”  We desperately search for the answer to this question  and with no answers anger is often directed outwardly towards physicians, other family members, friends, and God. 

Three:  Bargaining: 

Often this is with God. We promise to change our behaviors or attitude in exchange for Him to bring the person back or to take away the pain. “Just make it all go away.” “Just put things back the way they were.” Bargains are often made in private and may be associated with guilt. 

Four:  Depression: 

The phase of depression is the beginning of the withdrawal from the outside world in order to deal with the amazing pain of the loss.  You may loose interest in other people, begin to seclude yourself, sleep more, or have thoughts of suicide. 

Five:  Acceptance 

This is a phase that comes from a long and hard journey of facing your grief and working towards adjusting your life without that person around.  It is coming to grips with the fact that your loved one is not physically coming back.  It may take literally years before a person can feel that they have reached this level. 

With counseling, love and support from family, friends, and professionals you can reach this level. 

Remember that no one grieves in this order but often jumps in and out of stages before ever reaching a place in their life where happiness and peace is a norm.

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Contact Me at realdivas@yahoo.com